René Hannafin-Marino (continued)
upbringing as a Catholic has been essential, but I’ve come
to respect other religions and faiths. I believe that night
at my aunt’s church and all who prayed really brought my
husband “home.” That experience helped me to have
strength and never give up on prayer. It actually brought
me closer to God.
Please don’t give up on your faith and your beliefs.
n any special occasion, such as anniversaries,
birthdays, and holidays, I take flowers to the
cemetery by myself and talk to Brian. Then later, as a
family, we go to the station where his memorial is, leave
flowers, and go to dinner. We’d go to a restaurant that we
used to go to when Brian was here. Now I give the girls
the choice to pick somewhere to eat.
y brother, Mike, and I were nine years apart and
really very different in personality, but he was
always there to protect me. When I graduated from
college, I contracted viral encephalitis while hiking in
the mountains of New Mexico, and my brother made a
lot of the arrangements for my care. He visited me
constantly while I was in the hospital.
Mike had been a firefighter since he was 22, and I
remember, as a child, going to visit him with my Mom at
various fire stations. We had grown apart somewhat as we
got older, but I always knew that he would be there if I
needed him. A friend of his always told me, “He is so
proud of you.” I hope he knew how proud I was of him!
My brother lived in the same town as my 89-year-old
mother, and he always took very good care of her. I lived
in Georgia, so I really relied on him to be there for her.
Mike had surgery on his rotator cuff due to an injury
while lifting a patient on a gurney. I was never really a
religious person. When I got word that he had stopped
breathing and suffered an irreversible brain injury after
surgery, it didn’t really change my beliefs.
When the doctors declared Mike brain dead, I was
devastated, both because I knew I was losing him, but
also because I didn’t know who would take care of my
mom. She was very independent, so the thought of a
nursing home or assisted living was out of the question.
And there was no way she would have moved to Georgia.
I stayed with my brother that night, hoping for a miracle.
I kept asking him what I was going to do without him,
because he had always done such a good job of taking care of
Mom. The next day, when I had to make the decision to
take him off of life support, my mom died of a cardiac arrest.
I just couldn’t understand why Mike had been taken. My mom
was elderly, and while it was terrible to lose her, I sort of
understood that. But losing my brother seemed so senseless.
He was only 59, he was close to retirement, and he had so
many plans for the future. He still had a lot of living to do.
After many months of crying and even going to grief
counseling, somehow I understood that my prayers had
been answered. We don’t always like or agree with the
answers to our prayers. But I really believe that faith
helped me to realize that my brother had been taken to
continue taking care of my mom. I had lost two people
that I loved very much, but they were together, taking
care of each other. It may sound trite, but I do believe
that everything happens for a reason.
My brother will always be my hero. He has helped so
many people, and he continues to do so.
Thanks to the wonderful support of my family and friends
and a faith that I didn’t know I had, I have finally accepted
Mike’s death. It has taken me a long time, and while everyone
grieves in different ways, I just want others to know that
trying to find some good in that loss has really helped me.
M
O
By Betty Whitlow
Sister of Capt. Michael “Mike” Bevans (2005-AR)
By Pamela Reed
Wife of Brian Reed (2001-FL)
TRADITIONS
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